Wednesday, January 03, 2007
What Happened to Family Meals?
New Year’s Day, my parents took us out to dinner. We have found one place that I feel comfortable eating at and actually giving Kayla food at. So it’s nice to get out with the kids occasionally. But while we were there, I saw something that has really bothered me. And right or not, I can not seem get it out of my head.
J and I are very conservative parents. We limit the amount of TV they watch (well Kayla anyway b/c Alysa couldn’t care less about TV) and we are very cautious in what we let them watch. I am also a firm believer in eating as a family. The unfortunate part about that is we only get to have a real sit-down family dinner once a week. J doesn’t get home from work until 7 and the 2 days a week I work, I don’t get home until the girls have started eating. I’m hopeful that when they are older, we can eat a later dinner so we can eat together. Anyway, that is another topic… But when we do get to eat as a family, we do so and even when we aren’t all together, it’s me and the girls at the table – no TV, etc.
So anyway – we were at the restaurant and we were towards the end of our meal (thankfully), when a couple came in with their daughter (I’d say about 4). I hadn’t noticed them right away (even though they were seated next to us) – but Kayla did. I could tell this b/c her body was twisted around in her seat so she could catch a glimpse of the portable DVD player the parents brought for her to watch while they were there. And what was playing – Dora of course – Kayla’s favorite show. Now, I know I’m being a bit judgmental, but I couldn’t help but be disgusted. We live in a world where parents work late and meals can not always be eaten together. It’s not always easy. But if you are going to take the time to go out to eat – can’t you eat as a family then? Must parents have to bring a TV to entertain their child? I would never say it’s easy to eat out with kids, which is why we don’t go often. But when we do, we bring quiet toys to help entertain them when they have had enough of us. Not to mention plenty of snacks. :) Isn’t it good for your child to see you and your husband having a conversation over a meal? Shouldn’t you engage your child in a conversation that they can understand? Maybe tell them jokes or listen to theirs to keep them occupied? Must the fall-back always be television? What happened to good, old fashioned family time?
Of course, Kayla was mesmerized by the TV and she kept repeating – “she’s watching TV”. So I simply explained that we don’t watch TV when we are in restaurants. And yes, the conservative parent in me was a bit disgusted by the detached parenting. But I will also say, as I watched my girls happily play with their chopsticks (we save them all for the end of the meal when they are a bit antsy), I felt sad for them. I love to watch my girls play and I all I could think of is what they were missing out on.
J and I are very conservative parents. We limit the amount of TV they watch (well Kayla anyway b/c Alysa couldn’t care less about TV) and we are very cautious in what we let them watch. I am also a firm believer in eating as a family. The unfortunate part about that is we only get to have a real sit-down family dinner once a week. J doesn’t get home from work until 7 and the 2 days a week I work, I don’t get home until the girls have started eating. I’m hopeful that when they are older, we can eat a later dinner so we can eat together. Anyway, that is another topic… But when we do get to eat as a family, we do so and even when we aren’t all together, it’s me and the girls at the table – no TV, etc.
So anyway – we were at the restaurant and we were towards the end of our meal (thankfully), when a couple came in with their daughter (I’d say about 4). I hadn’t noticed them right away (even though they were seated next to us) – but Kayla did. I could tell this b/c her body was twisted around in her seat so she could catch a glimpse of the portable DVD player the parents brought for her to watch while they were there. And what was playing – Dora of course – Kayla’s favorite show. Now, I know I’m being a bit judgmental, but I couldn’t help but be disgusted. We live in a world where parents work late and meals can not always be eaten together. It’s not always easy. But if you are going to take the time to go out to eat – can’t you eat as a family then? Must parents have to bring a TV to entertain their child? I would never say it’s easy to eat out with kids, which is why we don’t go often. But when we do, we bring quiet toys to help entertain them when they have had enough of us. Not to mention plenty of snacks. :) Isn’t it good for your child to see you and your husband having a conversation over a meal? Shouldn’t you engage your child in a conversation that they can understand? Maybe tell them jokes or listen to theirs to keep them occupied? Must the fall-back always be television? What happened to good, old fashioned family time?
Of course, Kayla was mesmerized by the TV and she kept repeating – “she’s watching TV”. So I simply explained that we don’t watch TV when we are in restaurants. And yes, the conservative parent in me was a bit disgusted by the detached parenting. But I will also say, as I watched my girls happily play with their chopsticks (we save them all for the end of the meal when they are a bit antsy), I felt sad for them. I love to watch my girls play and I all I could think of is what they were missing out on.
2 Comments:
Wow, that's one I've never seen. I've seen game boys and stuff, but never a tv. How sad for that child.
That makes me sad. Hubbys bosses daughter (if you can follow that) does that with her kids. I don't get it. Her reasoning is that it keeps them occupied so she can enjoy her meal. Aren't we supposed to be teaching them manners for that? I know it's hard with little kids, but come on. Are you truely that lazy? Sorry, that just really frosts me. Then why did you have kids in the first place?
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