Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Nature or Nurture?
So there are always big debates on whether Nature or Nurture is the stronger determining factor in molding a person. I have always found it to be an interesting topic. But more so since I became a Mom of 2
Granted, they are only 27 months and 11 months, but I can see so many similarities and a world of differences. And I can see how parts of their personalities are the way they were when they were born and what aspects of them has changed.
Both Kayla and Alysa walked early. Kayla at 10.5 months and Alysa at 9 months. Now I can’t tell you how many times I hear that Alysa is walking so much earlier BECAUSE of having a big sister to chase after. And to be honest, I don’t believe that at all. Kayla, even though she was a month and half “later” than Alysa, was still an early walker. And I can tell you that I firmly believe Alysa would have walked that early no matter what order she was born in. I knew from the time she started moving around in utero (I felt her as early at 15 weeks) that we were going to have our hands full. When I was pg with Kayla, Jerome only felt her kick a few times. As soon as someone else’s hand touched my belly, all activity stopped. She was “shy” even then. Alysa? Forget it. The first time Jerome felt her doing flips and practicing her kick boxing in there; he just pulled his hand back and said “We’re doomed”. She was nonstop – she was active during all the u/s’s where Kayla was quiet. Now don’t get me wrong, Kayla was active and I never doubted she was moving around enough. She just wouldn’t show off. And as a baby, she never stopped and had a desire to walk and be mobile from the get-go. She was never happy to sit, until she could crawl. But Alysa was even more-so even as early as during my pregnancy.
Alysa, as a newborn and young baby was much more “wimpy”. She would cry at loud sounds. If I raised my voice to Kayla for any reason, Alysa was the one who crumpled (Kayla just stared at me). She had a much lower tolerance for pain. Every little bump, no matter how light or hard, she cried. But I’ve seen that change. The more active she got, the more she bumped her head and other various parts of her body. The more this happened, the tougher she got. And of course, add into the mix a big sister who loves to “body slam” her. Now it takes a much harder knock on the head to get her to crumple. She still seems to get upset quicker than Kayla, but being mobile and having a big sister has toughened her up. She loves it when she and Kayla wrestle on the floor. And her current favorite pastime? Slamming her head against things – especially anything hard. Ha!
Kayla has always had a high threshold for pain. Even now, she suffers from reflux – or more accurately Silent Reflux, b/c the only symptoms she shows is poor eating. It has always taken a hard knock to get her to cry in pain. So you know, when she cries from a fall, she’s really hurting.
They are both similar in their sleeping patterns. I have been lucky enough to have 2 excellent sleepers. Both slept through the night very early (3 months and 2.5 months). Now I really won’t know how much of that was nature over nurture. Although I will say that I take their sleep schedules very seriously. I’m big on naps in their cribs and schedules and routines. But it could also be as simple as “I just lucked out”.
And they both love to be silly and have fun. They do goofy things and love to make each other laugh. I hope that part doesn’t change.
I’m sure having a big sister will help in Alysa’s development and vice versa. But I’m also sure that some things are the way they’d be with or without a sibling. I have fun with them every day and am always looking forward to their development and changes as each stage passes and we enter new ones.
Granted, they are only 27 months and 11 months, but I can see so many similarities and a world of differences. And I can see how parts of their personalities are the way they were when they were born and what aspects of them has changed.
Both Kayla and Alysa walked early. Kayla at 10.5 months and Alysa at 9 months. Now I can’t tell you how many times I hear that Alysa is walking so much earlier BECAUSE of having a big sister to chase after. And to be honest, I don’t believe that at all. Kayla, even though she was a month and half “later” than Alysa, was still an early walker. And I can tell you that I firmly believe Alysa would have walked that early no matter what order she was born in. I knew from the time she started moving around in utero (I felt her as early at 15 weeks) that we were going to have our hands full. When I was pg with Kayla, Jerome only felt her kick a few times. As soon as someone else’s hand touched my belly, all activity stopped. She was “shy” even then. Alysa? Forget it. The first time Jerome felt her doing flips and practicing her kick boxing in there; he just pulled his hand back and said “We’re doomed”. She was nonstop – she was active during all the u/s’s where Kayla was quiet. Now don’t get me wrong, Kayla was active and I never doubted she was moving around enough. She just wouldn’t show off. And as a baby, she never stopped and had a desire to walk and be mobile from the get-go. She was never happy to sit, until she could crawl. But Alysa was even more-so even as early as during my pregnancy.
Alysa, as a newborn and young baby was much more “wimpy”. She would cry at loud sounds. If I raised my voice to Kayla for any reason, Alysa was the one who crumpled (Kayla just stared at me). She had a much lower tolerance for pain. Every little bump, no matter how light or hard, she cried. But I’ve seen that change. The more active she got, the more she bumped her head and other various parts of her body. The more this happened, the tougher she got. And of course, add into the mix a big sister who loves to “body slam” her. Now it takes a much harder knock on the head to get her to crumple. She still seems to get upset quicker than Kayla, but being mobile and having a big sister has toughened her up. She loves it when she and Kayla wrestle on the floor. And her current favorite pastime? Slamming her head against things – especially anything hard. Ha!
Kayla has always had a high threshold for pain. Even now, she suffers from reflux – or more accurately Silent Reflux, b/c the only symptoms she shows is poor eating. It has always taken a hard knock to get her to cry in pain. So you know, when she cries from a fall, she’s really hurting.
They are both similar in their sleeping patterns. I have been lucky enough to have 2 excellent sleepers. Both slept through the night very early (3 months and 2.5 months). Now I really won’t know how much of that was nature over nurture. Although I will say that I take their sleep schedules very seriously. I’m big on naps in their cribs and schedules and routines. But it could also be as simple as “I just lucked out”.
And they both love to be silly and have fun. They do goofy things and love to make each other laugh. I hope that part doesn’t change.
I’m sure having a big sister will help in Alysa’s development and vice versa. But I’m also sure that some things are the way they’d be with or without a sibling. I have fun with them every day and am always looking forward to their development and changes as each stage passes and we enter new ones.
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