Christine (aka my Sister) has started Marriage Monday as a way to reflect on marriage and what we can do to improve them and our relationship with our husbands This week’s Marriage Monday post was about encouraging your husband and what we do and can do to show our support and lift their spirits.
With 2 girls 16 months apart, we have a hectic household. Added to that, I don’t have the option currently to be a full time SAHM, but we have made many sacrifices so I can work part time and most importantly for us, we avoid daycare. The 2 full days I work, they are home with J, which has given him insight into my days with them and what a SAHM goes through. But most importantly it has given him the chance to form a bond with them that is harder to form if he was always home with them when I too was home. So as much as I’d much rather be home full time, I love to see how much they love him and how they have all bonded. And it shows that he can just as good care of them as I can. ;)
But due to our arrangement, we only see each other in the evenings. And, the only family time we get is when one of us takes vacation time. So it is hard and frustrating, but we are doing what is in our family’s best interest right now. With this arrangement, it makes us have to really work at time together and for our family. Add to that major changes and stresses with J’s job (that revolve around that precious vacation time), I find myself needing to really make an extra effort to not nag him to death. Not easy for an admitted “control-freak”. We’re both a bit on edge and snappy this past week.
Ok – I’m started to ramble a bit… Here are some things I do and am trying to do to encourage him and make sure he knows he’s appreciated:
• Especially when I know he’s having a really busy/hectic day, I will have the girls call him quickly so he can hear them laughing or have Kayla tell him something she did that day. Hearing their voices always lifts his spirits.
• He is very into cars and is working on a loooong process of rebuilding a 1974 Plymouth Barracuda. Although finances constrain how long this will take, I do my best to get him parts as holiday gifts, etc. Our most recent purchase was the welder he wanted. Oh and my van sits out in the driveway so his “baby” can have the garage.
• I also have spent time watching his car rebuilding shows and car auction shows with him. They can actually be interesting if you can get past a guy rebuilding an engine without getting a drop of grease on his hands.
• I tell him how good he is with the kids and how it warms my heart to see how much they love him. He’s a wonderful father and they are lucky to have him.
• And with the added stressors that I mentioned above, I am really trying hard to bug him less about stupid things that are easy enough for me to fix on my own.
Life can get very hectic and crazy. When it does, you just have to be that much more diligent in keeping the family intact. J is a huge help around the house. Although I do most of the inside chores, like cleaning up the clutter/toys, dusting, bathrooms, laundry, etc. He does the vacuuming and the floors as well as the outdoor stuff in the summer. He’s great at the kitchen too, which is a lot of times split. And he will cook too. So I can’t complain. And did I mention he split midnight feedings with me? So I appreciate all of that and it’s up to me and us as wives to make sure they know how much we appreciate all that they do.